Castlemaine XXXX Gold: What’s in a name? July 27, 2007
Posted by beertaster in Australia, Lager.add a comment
Country of origin Australia Type Lager
‘Gold’ – one of the most evocative words in the English language. It’s up there with ‘silk’, ‘paradise’ and ‘virgin’ – suggesting something very special indeed.
Why, then, in the name of all that is coveted, does this atrocity of a drink have the word ‘Gold’ proudly emblazoned across it?
Well, the colour of the drink could be described as golden, but then so could any lager in the world not prefixed by the word ‘dark’. Is Castlemaine XXXX Gold’s hue so unusual as to automatically give the tipple its name? Hardly. But then the manufacturers can hardly be trying to describe its quality – unless they are either practical jokers or outright liars.
There are two situations when even the most discerning beer drinker is likely to care less about the taste of a brew. One is at the end of a hot, muggy day when just about anything cold and wet will suffice. The other is when you’re many beers down the line and your taste buds can no longer be bothered processing anything more than the most basic information.
I’ve only had XXXX Gold twice; once each in the above scenarios. The first time, when the drink was deemed so unpalatable as to be poured on the floor rather than down my throat, despite the heat of a Western Australian summer, told me enough.
The second time, in which my request for “a pint of Old” was unfortunately mistaken for “Gold”, was well past midnight on a World Cup night, and the beers I had consumed were getting close to double figures. I shrugged off the honest Old/Gold mistake, figuring it didn’t matter much what was in my glass at that stage, but even then it tasted truly awful – water and cornflakes were the only “notes” I was getting.
Castlemaine should be investigated by Trades Descriptions for this atrocity. Gold is won by elite athletes and worn by royalty, not poured on scorched earth and shunned by the dangerously inebriated.
Heineken: A trusted favourite July 25, 2007
Posted by beertaster in Holland, Lager.add a comment
Country of origin Holland Type Lager
For my premiere post, what better to review than the world’s premier beer? Heineken is available in all but the most cobweb-ridden corners of the world and outsells even Guinness and Budweiser. It’s brewed and consumed in vast quantities on every inhabited continent – and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was available in a scientific station discotheque in Antarctica, too.
So, why the love affair with the iconic green bottle from Holland? Let’s just say it’s both good quality and dependable. It’s not the best beer in the world, but it is a very good one, and wherever you are in the world, you know what you’re going to get with Heineken.
For those who have never tasted it – and that must be a proportion of society similar to those who’ve never heard an Elvis record or watched a football match – Heineken is of a malty persuasion, too much so to be described as crisp, but is extremely drinkable and moreish.
I was once asked which single brand of beer I would take with me to a desert island. Presuming this island had a fridge, I plumped for Heineken. Again, not because it’s the best, but because it’s the most reliable. Some beers you have to be in the right mood or situation for, but a Heineken is always welcome.
And while we’re talking about desert islands, it is Heineken’s omnipresence in the bars of the world which aid its cause. Beer, after all, is as much a social experience as a matter of taste. I’m a well-travelled man and there’s many a night in many a place where a Heineken has been the perfect accompaniment to a set of new people and surroundings.
